Pulp, the greatest band of all time, once sang that grass is “something you smoke”. Perhaps that was true in 1995, but in the cool light of 2021 we sure as hell wouldn’t advise smoking what’s appearing in a depressing number of British back gardens.

For fake grass is all the rage, despite it being FAKE SODDING GRASS. So this week, sounding like the pair of old codgers they are, Dave and Ol get all worked up and confused about a thing other people apparently like but is very obviously abominable.

NB you can vent your spleen in the direction of the UK parliament by signing this petition.

Also this week, oyster-related emails from drunk babble listeners, and the best eco video you will see all year, courtesy of the wizards at Greenpeace (check it out).

Sustainababble is your friendly environment podcast, out weekly. Theme music by the legendary Dicky Moore – @dickymoo. Sustainababble logo by the splendid Arthur Stovell. Ecoguff read out by Arabella.

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